Two months ago our other dog, Jax, bit a porcupine and rang up a respectable $800 bill. Vada heard about it, filed it under "notes," and waited for her perfect moment.
That moment struck around 12:30am. Dad had gotten a luxurious one hour of sleep when Vada decided it was the ideal time to sample local wildlife.
One enthusiastic bite later, she and dad are rushing in the dead of night to the 24-hour emergency vet in Springfield.
4:00am they arrive. The vet takes her away, knocks her out, then brings dad in and points at a throat packed with quills like a luxury pincushion, and says, "This is just about as bad as it can possibly get before it becomes life threatening" — before hitting him with a $2,000 bill.
Vada woke up filled with slight remorse, a little shame, and those big eyes that say "oops, sorry dad." But she would 100% do it again if given the chance.
We're one step ahead of her there. She's been on lockdown every night since coming home. We're out of patience, out of funds, and poor dad is still trying to catch up on sleep.
Meanwhile, she naps like a queen after eating her fancy wet food recommended by the vet, and stuffing her face with antibiotic-laced turkey.
Between a near-deadly infection, a leg snapped clean in half, and now this porcupine tasting, our "free" dog has racked up a nice $12,000 in 4 years.
She's lucky she's cute.